Three Things Working Against Me
By Noa
Early into my prison sentence, I remember a Corrections case manager telling me that I had three things working against me. I was Māori, I was transgender, and now I had a criminal record. Quite the trifecta, apparently! Her advice was to forget about whatever dreams and aspirations I’d had before prison and start thinking realistically about what someone like me could achieve. I’ve never forgotten that conversation, and I still think about it from time to time, usually with a good laugh.
I spent eight years imprisoned before being released in April 2020, just as COVID-19 was turning the world upside down. Imagine spending eight years inside, finally getting out, and discovering that everyone else had been told to stay home too! Talk about timing. Coming home after that long was an adjustment, and there was plenty to get my head around. The world had changed considerably, and I had relationships to reconnect with, responsibilities to take up, and a life to get on with. I still had dreams, though, and a fair few things I wanted to accomplish.
In the six years since my release, I’ve owned and operated a café, established my own consultancy business, had my writing published, and secured various contracts involving research, translation, programme development and academic support. Somewhere amongst all of that, I also managed to complete a PhD. I graduated with distinction, made the Dean’s List of Exceptional Theses, and had the honour of being selected as valedictorian. Not too bad for a prisoner, hey? I’m also a mother and a proud nani, and between my whānau, my mahi and whatever else I manage to get myself involved in, life is certainly never dull.
Of course, there have been challenges along the way, and my criminal record continues to have consequences. There are still doors that remain closed, and I’ve had my fair share of setbacks. But I’ve also had opportunities I never imagined, met some wonderful people, and discovered that I’m quite capable of keeping myself ridiculously busy.
I often wonder what that case manager would think if we met again. I’d love to sit down over a cuppa and give her a little update on how things have turned out. Perhaps I’d ask her what she thinks someone like me could realistically achieve next. Although, on second thought, I might just save us both the trouble and carry on doing the do.